The dynamics of my life in moving with feminine energy has changed just about 180 degrees for plenty of reasons. But oh how I have shifted deep inside. In the course of my life, I highly identified with feminine energy because I had two amazing and extremely strong and dynamic women in my life – my sister and my mom – who are very driven and proficient in what they do. I even had a female dog who was my best friend when I was little and inclined to get along with ladies better than I did with men. I took the best from my dad too, equally as driven, thoughtful, creative and incentivized and turned into a product of my environment and nurturing.
As I went through the deep chaos of my younger years, I was “all that changes and shifts. ” My moods, my angles, my uncontrollable emotions and thoughts…I have described it many times…were like a tornado inside of me that absolutely refused to cease. Even when it did stop momentarily, back up it would storm again. Combine that with lacking deep purpose after my baseball career finished and an enormous mess was made. So I crashed like the raging ocean for a while…and eventually found my way to writing.
But recently this dynamic shifted supremely as the bubbling up of my purpose came to me and I started to read, understand, and practice what true masculine energy really was. This has not just only opened up my world, but has opened up the worlds of the guys who live around me. There’s an idea that has entered into my mind that has stuck with me for months now, and it’s the concept of the mountain. That solidity – identifying with what does not and will never change in this world. The undoubtable stableness of being completely grounded in your position, a mirror to life itself, empty and truly ready to express your deepest passions and purpose – which is the expression of love itself.
When a man ultimately begins to understand this concept, I will tell you…mountains don’t just move in front of him…he becomes the mountain. Whatever happens around him swirls and yet he is completely calm, comfortable, and remains deep set in his deepest desire. To find your purpose is way more than just what you do for work – it must be a direct leader in your life and will influence your relationships, your friendships, your family dynamics, and how you show up in this fantastic world. It sure did for me. As quickly as this hit – bloom – unfold – open – closing the chasm – joy – inner wisdom – integrity – perseverance through anything.
Women are similar to the flowing ocean. They shift, change, and adjust by the second. In just a moment, a tranquil ocean can turn into a sequence of rogue waves. As a man, you are there in your small rowboat wondering how on earth you are going to climb up that wave before it crests. Women are life itself. They offer, literally, what it suggests to be alive. Why do you think they call it Mother Nature? Everything that shifts around you is moving energy, a type of power that’s uniquely female and can be accessed. But those waves for men who don’t understand what it truly means to be the captain of their ship can be rocked out of the their boat – I can not tell you how many times I have been tossed out of my ship or bailed before the wave hit. But give a man a purpose, and that wave begins to look like fun. Also, that wave can induce your most important purpose.
This is the part that’s changed my life fully.
Each day I sit comfortable down and write, I am absolutely driven by a type of energy that’s certainely very different from anything that I have experienced before. I sit in my little chair outside on my porch…close my eyes, and breathe as deep deep down into my stomach as I can. I find that density – that solidity – that love – that emptiness. There’s this type of energy that if you focus upon it deep enough, it’s almost a low frequency lull…that is incredibly deep and dynamic. A wavelength that really has has existed far before all of us and one that willbe here forever after. I can feel it circulate through me often when I am sitting on the mat. Then, I open and observe the things that are going on around me or start to run through the days events – utilizing all the amazing things that changed – and get impressed by all of that energy. That energy runs straight through my writing – and yet, all at the exact same time, I’m here, completely grounded in my place – living as if I was already dead.
Fear, in my heart, disappears.
There I solidly am grounded, in my deepest purpose, completely and definitely inspired by the women around me and that feminine energy…creating, loving seriously and open to all uncertainty. It’s this dynamic, the one between the male and the female – and my tapping into both – which has taught me more than anything else. This has opened me up, changed my friendships and helped me continue to discover parts of myself that I did not know existed. Floods of people have showed up in my life and I am able to see the entire thing morphing, only to understand that it will all change and pass…and that’s superbly okay.