The first idea is the creation of relationships with ourselves. (Runaway Bride) has a scene where Julia Roberts plays a character who makes an ultimate decision. She decides never to choose eggs as preferred by her partners ever again but to make her own choice. We have to take time in focusing on our preferences, likes and dislikes. We must learn everything about what makes us happy and unhappy. We need to find ways to deal and cope in a healthy manner that which makes us unhappy.
A crucial step is the establishment of personal boundaries. This is important because it helps one cease people pleasing. Basic forms of personal boundaries include where to draw that red line and when to say no. A good example is blatantly declining to let an individual to convince one to do something they do not want to do. This is even if such an individual manipulates one with negative comments. Enforcements of boundaries this way shall improve relationships.
Trusting and listening to our own feelings and intuition is strategic. We need to observe what are our exact thoughts and feelings. We need to remind ourselves that it is allowable to make our own judgements and form our own opinions.
Honoring someones own intentions and needs is yet another important step. Most co-dependent people make decisions based upon what someone else wants and not for their own betterment. This creates a sense of fear before such an individual utters a word. Such a person must question their intention behind their words or actions. This lets them understand their individual motives and ideas rather than allowing other people define these for them. It assists them in developing self-respect and confidence making it easier to communicate their own needs to everyone else.
Creating your own positive space is another crucial step. You achieve this once you learn to differentiate between supporting someone with a problem rather than taking responsibility for that persons problem. This realization enables you create your personal positive space. Establishment of boundaries where everybody else ends and yours begins happens this way.
Finally, we have to commit ourselves to lifting our self-esteem and self-confidence. Leaving our co-dependent relationship shall take commitment and time. The more we know who we are and what we want, the less we shall let people upset us. It could lead to a year of mistakes. A second learning from and discovering such mistakes. Another year may be about practicing loving ourselves. A fourth year may center on acceptance, solidification on our inner loving kindness and awareness.
Ultimately, you are entirely responsible for your own happiness. What you create within you can be artfully transferred to someone else. In your dynamic and very vibrant world, self-love makes you and everyone around you stronger.